Yelling
by just call me Cappy
Summary: Pointless. Absolutely pointless. Involves Draco Malfoy and Hermione yelling at each other. Read if you're bored.


YELLING -  
by Caprigrrl  
  
****  
  
[Author's note: Uh .... I have no idea how this came to me. Go ahead and blame my Muse. The fic might be a LEETLE bit complicated, so just let your brain move at a fast pace, 'kay? Have I mentioned that it's COMPLETELY POINTLESS? *sneezes into a huge wad of tissues, cos she's having a fever rite now and is completely delerious* Right then. Here goes.]  
  
****  
  
The door slammed. Two robed figures stood facing each other, eyes narrowed, breathing hard. One had big, bushy mouse-brown hair, hazel eyes and quite an attitude, the other had silver-blonde hair, cold grey eyes and a scornful nature.  
  
Both were staring at each other like crocodiles in deep contemplation before a ferocius battle.  
  
The blonde haired one made the first move. His name we shall call Draco. "So ..." he drawled, never taking his eyes off his opponent. "... You dared to come."  
  
He brushed his shoulder. "Mudblood."  
  
The hazel-eyed one, of which were currently blazing, snarled. "Take that back, you pale little weasel." She tossed her head nobly, sending strands of mouse-brown curls streaming across her back. Her name was Hermione.  
  
Both pairs of eyes flashed like flames in the cold room.  
  
"Filthy little Mama's Girl," Draco sneered.  
  
"Ugly good-for-nothing snake," Hermione retorted.  
  
"Smarmy Miss-Know-It-All."  
  
"Stuck-up shorty."  
  
"Is that the best you can do?" Draco laughed. "You're a frog that can never fit in."  
  
"Look who's talking," Hermione snarled, "you friendless idiot."  
  
Draco flinched. "At least I didn't need to go on and get my life saved by two idiots before I made any friends at all."  
  
"At least I have friends," Hermione replied quietly.  
  
"You call those two gits friends? They're just hanging around so they can get help with their homework. They'd abandon you as you as you outlived your usefulness."  
  
Hermione's turn to flinch. It was a while before she answered with: "And all those Slytherins ... they're just hanging around you for just because you're filthy rich."  
  
Three seconds passed before anyone said anything. The silence was thicker than mollasses.  
  
"It's torture," Draco drawled, "being a rich, wealthy, good-looking heir to a thousand acres of land and centuries of family fortune, and a life absolutely lolling in cash." His eyes met hers. "Absolutely torture."  
  
"Of course. You also left out being a stupid, bumbling cowardly idiot with no social life. Don't forget that."  
  
The snarl that developed in Draco's throat could be likened to that of a angry, hungry wolf. "No social life? Look who's talking, Miss Love-Affair-With-Textbook. At least I'm not desperate."  
  
Hermione's eyes did what eyes could only do in fanfictions: they BLAZED.  
  
"You know why nobody likes you? Because you're STUCK-UP! And ARROGANT! And bloody well BIGHEADED! You think you're sooooo superior, just because you have heaps of money and ... and ..."  
  
"A suave, charming nature?"  
  
"No! A inflated ego that couldn't fit in a football staduim!"  
  
Draco looked puzzled for about three miliseconds before gaining his cold demenour once again. "Football?" he asked in fake innocence.  
  
"Muggle thing. You wouldn't understand, racist jerk." Hermione spat the words.  
  
"Oh, yes. The Muggle connection. You'd get along like peanut butter and jelly with the Weaslys."  
  
A few seconds of total silence passed along like a herd of turtles.  
  
Hermione stiffled a small laugh. "Peanut butter and jelly?"  
  
"Peanut butter and jelly. Like salt and pepper. Like ham and cheese, or like cookies and milk. Like coffee and doughnuts, or possibly bagels. Like ... like ..."  
  
"Like pepperoni and pizza."  
  
"More like CHEESE and pizza."  
  
"Possibly."  
  
Another few seconds passed like a herd of elderly turtles pone to shock when dealing with high speed.   
In these few seconds, Draco and Hermione realised they were - Heaven forbid - being NICE to each other. They started yelling again.  
  
"YOU! You! You use so much gel on your hair because in reality it sticks out like porcupine quills!!" Hermione shrieked.  
  
"You ... you ... wash your hair in a basin because that's where people wash vegetables!"  
  
"!!!" Hermione replied.  
  
And it went on. And on. And on, and on, and on ... and on ... and on ... and ...  
  
**** 


End file.
